This Adventure begins with a family
by curturr1423
Summary: The story revolves around Hotch and JJ's family mostly but will have the whole team involved. There are case chapters and Fluff chapters and a little bit of everything for everyone. Enjoy and always remember I sadly do not own anything from this show except my original characters and the plot lines that I have created.
1. REintroductions

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life."

-Richard Bach, _voiced by Aaron Hotchner_

Behavioral Analysis Unit

QUANTICO, VA

"Okay JJ what've we got?" Hotch asks in his unwavering serious tone, as he walks into the conference room and sits at the head of the table.

"Nashville, Tennessee. Three murders in the past week and a half, all females between the ages of 25 and 28."

"By these photos it looks like asphyxiation with uh…" Reid pauses at a loss for what would have caused the strange marks on the victims' necks.

"What is that?" Jack Hotchner asks clearly confused

"Barbed wire" JJ says with a cringe at the sight of the crime scene photos

"It looks like we're looking at a young male, probably around the same age as his victims. He is aggressive, any signs of sexual assault?" Jack asks his step mom

"No, but there was something that could be a signature, there are numbers written on the victims' chests, 1,2 and 3" The group once again enters a confused silence as they stare at the evidence photos. The silence is finally broken when Jack's phone rings. He looks at his dad who signals that it is okay to answer the call from his wife. He leaves the room as Hotch stands to talk.

"Alright Morgan, Reid, Prentiss, JJ we'll be leaving first thing in the morning, I think it's best if everyone gets a good night's rest and we'll start fresh from there, it's been a long week. Let's get there before he gets to number 4, huh?"

"Dad!" Jack yells as he runs back into the room, everyone's heads whip around to look at him "Addie's in labor! I have to go." Hotch's eyes widen as he smiles at his eldest. He couldn't be more proud

"Yes of course, go!"

"What about the case?" Hotch pauses and looks at JJ then to Henry and finally back at Jack

"What do you think Henry? Are you ready for this?" Henry sits up a little straighter in his chair and looks at his step dad

"Yes sir." Morgan slaps his back with pride

"Thanks bro" He hugs his step brother, JJ and his dad one more time before running out of the room and to his car to meet his wife at the hospital.

* * *

A few minutes later most of the team had cleared out except Hotch, JJ and Henry.

"Hey mom are you guys heading to the hospital?"

"Yeah but I have to go get your sister first."

"You and Aaron go, I'll get her. We'll meet you there."

"Are you sure?" Henry nods, grabs his keys and walks towards the elevators as JJ and Hotch start collecting their stuff to leave.

"You did a good job with him, all of them. Don't worry about him, he has good instincts, he'll be fine."

"I'm not wor-"

"Don't even say it. You're his mother, I know you're worried about him going into the field for the first time, but don't be. He's a great profiler."

"I know, but he's still my baby." Hotch kisses JJ and wraps his arm around her as they leave to go to the hospital.

JJ and Hotch beat Henry and Sophia there and wait in the waiting room until Jack finally emerges from the large double doors.

"Hey guys." He says with an undeniable grin on his face "It's still going to be a while. She is doing great though."

"Jack that's great." JJ gives a smile to her step son as Hotch begins to speak

"We'll be here as long as we can but our flight leaves at 5."

"Okay, I'll keep you posted but I should get back in there."

"Hey bro! How's it going?" Henry asked excitedly from down the hallway

"Hey! She's great!" he couldn't deny how happy he was at the moment, then he notices Sophia standing behind Henry

"Hey squirt! Thanks for coming!" Sophia has sleep in her eyes and she clearly had been woken up very rudely by her brother

"No problem, I wouldn't-" she is interrupted by a yawn "have missed it."

Jack walks back the way he came and disappears into one of the rooms down the hallway as the family sits down in anticipatory silence in the waiting room.

"To understand your parents' love, you must raise children yourself."

-Chinese Proverb


	2. A first for everyone

**So I decided to put up two chapters to start with so people could get a feel for where the story was going and how I was going to be writing it. I promise it gets better, I just couldn't think of any way to really get the story rolling. Please give it a chance, I have the first 12 chapters written so I will be updating every day. Also, don't forget to review so I know if it is worth pursuing. Thanks so much for reading!**

"Man at his birth is supple and tender, but in death he is rigid and hard. Plants when young are sinuous and moist, but when old are brittle and dry. Thus suppleness and tenderness are signs of life, while rigidity and hardness are signs of death."

-Lao-Tzu, Tao Te Ching

Behavioral Analysis Unit

QUANTICO, VA

"Well hello my lovely! How are you this morning?" Penelope Garcia greets Sophia in her typical, loud way as she is setting up her screens.

"Is it morning? I couldn't tell… my eyes gave out hours ago." Sophia slumps into her chair and grabs the coffee that Garcia is offering to her.

"How is your brother?"

"He's giddy, but then again, I would be too, I guess." Garcia laughs boisterously

"You, my dear are anything but giddy."

"Ain't that the truth?" JJ says from the door frame "Alright sweets, we're heading to the jet."

"Okay, you're gonna be home for my game on Friday right?" Sophia says trying not to allow her hope to show

"I'm going to try my hardest baby. But I have to go; I'll call you tonight and promise me you won't get in Garcia's way today."

"Yes ma'am."

"I love you."

"I love you, too." Sophia sits back in her chair after hugging her mom and she is visibly upset.

"Oh no, no don't do that."

"What?"

"Don't be sad, I can't bear it."

"I'm not sad, I'm just frustrated. Coach is letting me start on varsity this Friday and I really wanted my parents to be there."

"That's a big deal, do they know that?"

"No, I didn't tell them because I know my mom would feel bad if she couldn't make it, and I would feel bad if she blamed herself. Plus it's Henry's first case and I don't want to steal the attention away from him." Sophia takes a big sip of her coffee. Garcia often notices how selfless Sophia is. She was raised in a household where respect and responsibility were demanded at all times and she was raised extremely well. For a sixteen year old she was well rounded and level headed and that was something even Garcia admired about the young girl.

"Well kid, either way I will be there, Kevin too." Sophia gives her a little smile and she spins around in her chair.

* * *

"Okay, so when we get there, JJ you and Reid can go to the police station and meet the sheriff, start right away on the profile. Henry and I will go to the newest crime scene and Prentiss and Morgan, go to the first crime scene, we'll meet you there." All of their phones go off simultaneously. They each open up a message from Jack with a picture of Addie and the baby

'A baby girl, Haley Jennifer Hotchner, 8 pounds 6 ounces and perfectly healthy.' Is all it reads

"Oh my God." JJ says with tears in her eyes as she receives a hug from Emily.

"Congratulations Grandpa!" Morgan says with a sly smile as he shakes Hotch's hand. They all share a moment of happiness before they have to go deal with another day of death and sadness.

All of a sudden Garcia pops up on the laptop screen on the table in front of them

"Hello fellow earthlings, Hotch and JJ she is beautiful. But I do come bearing bad news, I think we may have another hit in Nashville. Erica Winters, 24 years old was reported missing this morning after she never returned home after a night out with friends."

"Hey Garcia, who reported her missing?" Reid asks as the gears start turning

"Her husband, a Mike Winters."

"Huh." Reid continues to think to himself

"Why, what are you thinking?" Henry asks thinking he might have the same thought.

"They were all reported missing by their husbands, but comparatively they're all extremely young to be married."

"Jealousy? Crime of Passion?" Emily asks the group

"Most likely, we need to find out if there is a connection between each of the other girls."

"Garcia, See if the husbands know each other in anyway." Hotch orders

"I'm on it Sir." Garcia says in a chipper tone as the image on the laptop clicks off and she disappears.

"Now that I think of it, there are few defensive wounds indicating they may have known their attacker." Reid says

"That would coincide with a crime of passion." Morgan agrees whole heartedly with Dr. Reid

"Wrath of the scorned can be a harsh one." Henry says in a knowing tone.

The plane lands and each pairing goes off in the directions they were told to go.

"Every luxury must be paid for, and everything is a luxury. Starting with being in the world."

-Cesare Pavese


	3. Pride and Accomplishment

"In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry'."

-Margaret Laurence

Behavioral Analysis Unit

QUANTICO, VA

* * *

Sophia is sitting in her mom's office at the BAU doing her homework, waiting for Garcia to be done so they can go home, when her phone rings

"Hello?"

"Hey baby, how are you doing?" JJ's soothing voice echoes through her ear and she allows a smile to take over.

"I'm good, how are you? How is the case going?"

"Um, it seems to be at a standstill right now." JJ sounds tired and frustrated

"How is Henry doing?"

"He's doing great. Yeah, he's working hard. But I have some bad news; I don't think we're going to be out of here before tomorrow night. I'm sorry, but I'll ask Garcia to video tape it and we'll watch it when we get back." Sophia sits up a little straighter in her chair as a tear falls silently down her cheek.

"Yeah, sure thing."

"I'm sorry sweetie."

"No, it's not a big deal at all. I'm gonna go though, because I uh, I have a lot of homework to get done before tomorrow. I love you and I'll talk to you later." She hangs up the phone before JJ can reply and lets a few more disappointed tears drip from her eyes.

* * *

Sheriff's office

NASHVILLE, TN

JJ hangs up her phone and sits back down at the desk she has adopted as her workspace.

"What's up?" Hotch asks her as she sighs heavily

"Oh, it was S.J. I had to tell her that we wouldn't be able to make it to her game. I think she's mad at me."

"Well you know her, she'll be mad for a little while but it will go away when she sees you."

"Yeah I know but I'm just tired of disappointing her." Before Hotch can offer any more sympathies to his wife Henry enters the room with a new vigor he didn't have when he had left.

"Guys! I think I've got something."

"What is it?"

"So it turns out that all three of the girls went to the same high school, and if you look, they graduated in consecutive years to one another."

"Yeah, we knew that."

"But what we didn't know was that they all dated the same guy; Marcus Deans, who still lives right here in town."

"Good work Henry," Hotch says surprised at the unexpected progress "alright then, let's go find this guy."

Hotch jumps up and grabs his phone and they rush out to their black SUV. On the way to Deans' house Henry calls to fill Morgan and Prentiss in on their location. When they get to Deans' house they knock on the door and are greeted by a skinny young man, age 23. Hotch looks at Henry to signal that he should take the lead.

"Marcus Deans? I'm agent Lamontagne this is Agent Hotchner, we're with the FBI, may we come in? We have a few questions for you." He shuffles uncomfortably for a second and then opens the door a little wider.

"Umm, yeah, sure I guess." They enter the living room and Hotch begins to look around while Henry sits and begins the questioning

"So, Mr. Deans,"

"Uh, you can call me Marc, most people call me Marc."

"Okay marc, could you tell me where you went to high school?"

"South Sycamore High, why? Am I in trouble?"

"And did you graduate with a girl by the name Erica Winters?" Henry watches his eyes dilate and widen in shock of the mention of the victim's name

"Y-yes sir"

"What was your relationship with her?" he doesn't answer right away

"We dated for a while" he is trying desperately to look everywhere but straight ahead

"Oh yeah? How did that go?" Marc looks around again trying not to make eye contact with the young agent.

"Umm, okay I guess."

"Why did you break it off with her?" Henry leans in a bit closer

"I didn't." his tone is clearly more angry now

"What?"

"No, she broke up with me. She told me that she had found someone else. She said that she had moved on." He is wringing his hands together signaling his anger.

"Oh, is that what happened with Meagan, Grace and Taylor too?" his eyes bug out even more as Henry pulls out the crime scene photos of the girls. He keeps pressing the guy; he knows he won't be very hard to crack. He is extremely unstable and vulnerable

"W-what? W-who? H-how?" he is completely thrown for a loop.

* * *

Hotch is in Marc's bedroom looking around, he opens the closet door and finds the walls completely covered with pictures of the four girls with and without Marcus. There are pictures of them from high school and others that seem to be more recent, some even from just days before their murders. There is a box on a small table in the closet. Hotch carefully opens the box and finds a locket, a charm bracelet, a pair of earrings and a hair clip. All from the girls, most likely gifts he had given them while they were dating which have now turned into his trophies. Hotch starts with the box downstairs, when he hears a gunshot. He starts sprinting down the stairs while Morgan and Prentiss burst through the door, guns drawn. They carefully enter the living room where Henry is standing with his gun aimed at Marcus who is on the floor holding his side. Henry's clearly in shock as he stands over the man he just shot.

"He came at me with a gun; he threatened to kill me if I told anyone what he did. But… he confessed." Emily grabs Henry and brings him outside. Morgan yells for a medic inside. The paramedics come and grab Marcus and Hotch processes and bags the evidence he had found and then quickly goes to find Henry.

* * *

"Henry are you okay?" JJ rushes over to her son as he emerges from the elevators.

"Mom, I'm fine, I got the guy." Henry's smile is huge and he is bursting with pride

"He was great Jayje." Hotch places a hand on Henry's shoulder "I'm extremely proud of you Henry."

* * *

"Besides pride, loyalty, discipline, heart, and mind, confidence is the key to all the locks."  
-Joe Paterno

**So I don't know if anyone is actually reading this or not, haha but I figured I would upload the next couple of chapters. If you ARE reading this let me know and send me a review or a message to let me know what you like, or don't like, about it. Thanks y'all. :)**


	4. Surprises, no matter how small

"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them."  
-James Baldwin

Jackson High School

QUANTICO, VA

(Friday night)

* * *

The JHS girl's varsity soccer team members are sitting on the school bus that is pulling into their rivals' driveway. Sophia Jareau has her brand new uniform on with brand new warm up suit which has her own name printed in block letters on the back. This is the very suit she has wanted to wear since she was little and her mom took her to her first soccer game. She is so excited she can barely contain herself as her music blares through her headphones. Her mind, however, keeps going back to her mom, Aaron and Henry and the rest of her family, the only people in the world she wants to share this moment with. They unload all of their equipment from the bus and head over to the field. More and more people start filling the stands; parents and friends. The warm up music is playing loudly through the speaker system and Sophia can't bear to look at the stands and not see her parents there so she just focuses on the goal and the new warm up exercises she has just learned. The game starts and Sophia runs out to mid field as the new starting forward. She is in the zone and nothing is going to get in her way, not tonight. She is determined to get a goal or two if possible. The whistle blows and their team gains control of the ball and she receives a strong pass and starts heading down field as fast as she can, nothing but clear turf and she zones in on the goalie, kicks it as hard as possible and she gets it right past her.

"Goal by Sophia Jareau number 14!" the announcer shouts through the loudspeaker and Sophia high fives a few girls on her team.

"Yeah S.J. that's my girl!" a single voice rises above all others and Sophia whips her head around to see her mom and the rest of the BAU team sitting in the front row. A smile takes over her face and she doesn't even try to hide it. She spends the rest of the game the same way she spent the first few minutes, she plays almost the entire game and she gets 4 goals. The JHS team wins the game and takes their rivals' undefeated status away from them.

* * *

Meanwhile in the stands JJ is watching her daughter, a reflection of herself back when she was in high school. She leans over to Garcia

"Thanks for the heads up on this Garcia."

"Of course! I knew you would be kicking yourself if you had missed this."

On the other end of the bench Henry was relatively quiet compared to his usual demeanor

"Hey kid, you okay?" Morgan leans into Henry to be able to hear him better

"Yeah, I'm good." He doesn't make eye contact with the older agent

"The first time is always the hardest. You did good work today, remember that when you're trying to sleep tonight. You saved Erica's life." Henry looks up to Morgan with a new found admiration. He couldn't help but keep re-running the whole situation in his head. He knew he did what he had to do but it didn't make it any easier to accept the fact that he shot a man, guilty or not.

Sophia was sprinting faster than almost everyone else on the field, she has been working on her training and conditioning non-stop for about four years. She is in almost perfect athletic shape and JJ and Hotch have seen how hard she has been working and they couldn't deny that they had raised three amazing children, and she was definitely no acception.

* * *

"Mom!" S.J. sprints up to her mom and gives her the biggest hug she has ever gotten "You're here!"

"Of course I'm here, you think I would miss my girl's first varsity game?" S.J. doesn't question how she knew or if she even knew at all. She is just happy that her family is here with her.

"4 goals? What are they feeding you?" Henry hugs her and grabs her bag and carries it to the car

"Good game kid! Just remember when you go pro, I taught you everything you know." Sophia scoffs at him as he pulls her into a hug

"Yo S.J.!" They turn around to see one of the girls from the team "we're going out for a victory dinner, want to come?" Sophia looks to her mom for approval

"Go ahead, not too late though."

"Thanks mom." She hugs her mom again and Aaron too "Thank you all for coming!" she waves to the group as she runs off to meet up with her team mates.

"Like I said, you did good with them." Aaron wraps an arm around JJ

"Ain't that the truth?" Henry says snidely from behind them.

* * *

"JJ, you have got to be exhausted, I'm sure she'll be home soon, she'll wake us up when she gets home. Let's go to bed." After the case they just had they both are exhausted and fall asleep immediately.

JJ wakes up first and realizes Sophia never came in to wake them up when she got home. She assumes she just forgot and goes into her room and S.J. isn't there and her bed hasn't been slept in. She goes downstairs and looks around and doesn't see any sign that her daughter came home the night before. She checks her phone and there are no messages

"Aaron!" she runs upstairs and wakes her husband "Aaron, I don't think S.J. ever came home last night…"

* * *

"What it's like to be a parent: It's one of the hardest things you'll ever do but in exchange it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love."  
-Nicholas Sparks


	5. Bitter love, sweet revenge

"Certain is it, that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express."

-Joseph Addison

The Hotchner House

QUANTICO, VA

* * *

"Aaron, I don't think S.J. ever came home last night." Her eyes are frantic while she starts to dial her daughter's cell phone number. The phone just keeps ringing and she keeps calling.

"JJ calm down. Keep trying her cell I'm going to call the team and see if anyone has heard from her." Aaron jumps out of bed and exits the room to call everyone he knows.

"Jack, hey its dad, call me when you get this, we're looking for your sister, just wondering if you've seen her."

"Henry, hey it's dad…"  
"Aaron, she isn't answering." JJ throws on a sweatshirt and jeans and starts downstairs

"Where are you going?"

"I have to call the police."

* * *

Sophia is tied to a table in a dark room; she is starting to gain consciousness. The room smells like must and gasoline. She can't see much except some tools in the corner.  
"Sophia Jareau" a gruff older man's voice sounds from behind her. She jumps at the suddenness of his voice from behind her and realizes she has blood running down the side of her face and one of her eyes is swollen shut. She has 8 rings cut around the circumference of her right arm starting at her shoulder and going down towards her elbow. They sting like a thousand little paper cuts and she tries to get a glimpse of her attacker's face but it is just too dark.

* * *

By now Aaron has called everyone he knows and there are a few police officers at their house.  
"Mrs. Hotchner when did you realize your daughter was missing?" One cop holding a pad of paper and pen asks

"When I woke up this morning, I couldn't find her. She went out last night with her team mates and that was the last I saw her." JJ has a solid stream of tears rolling down her cheeks and she can't control them.

"Hotch?" Emily walks through the open front door and over to her boss, she instinctively hugs him "How are you guys doing?"

"I'm okay, JJ's a mess, Henry and Jack are around here somewhere." Hotch is even quieter than usual.

Emily goes to find JJ when Garcia, Kevin and Morgan enter the house. Morgan and Kevin go over to Hotch and Garcia finds the other women. They stay like this for a while, answering questions, consoling their friends and worrying about S.J. … all of their minds' thinking in hyper speed.

* * *

"Sophia, do you know why you're here?"

"N-no." Sophia tries to keep her voice steady and strong but she already feels herself waning.

"Well, I'll enlighten you. 12 years ago, you're parents put me in jail for something I didn't do, and that, that didn't bode well with me." He starts gliding a box cutter over the vacant spot on her right arm. "So I thought to myself… what could I do that would make them just as angry as they made me, and then I remembered, they had a little girl, you were what, about, 4 at the time right?" Sophia hears an old cuckoo clock signaling from the other side of the room "well would you look at that? It's 9 o' clock." He presses the blade of the old cutter into her bicep and starts to pull it around her arm.

"See, for every hour that you're in here, and they're out there looking for you, you will get a nice reminder of the time. A nice mark, just like me." He pulls up his sleeve to show hundreds of marks on his arms, some older than others "Because when you're in jail, there are very few ways of keeping track of time. So this was my method, and now, it looks like it will be yours too. But the only difference is I don't feel like wasting another 12 years on your family, so they get 4 days and 1 hour. He pinches her right arm "24 hours" he points to her left arm "24 hours" he grabs her right leg "24" he glides his hand over her left knee "24" and he places the cutter over her throat "and 1" Sophia is trying to feign toughness but the pain in her arm is so bad it is hard to focus on anything. Her offender exits the room and she finally allows a frustrated scream to exit her trachea. She refuses to let him win, her parents beat him once, and they can do it again.

* * *

"Something in the heart of most human beings simply cannot abide pain inflicted on the innocent, especially children. Even broken men serving in the worst correctional facilities will often first take out their own rage on those who have caused suffering to children. Even in such a world of relative morality, causing harm to a child is still considered absolutely wrong. Period!"

-WM. PAUL YOUNG

**Sorry I haven't updated like I said I would, I just moved into school and went through orientation, so I have been SUPER busy. Thanks for your patience! I hope you are enjoying this story and I hope you will be so kind to review. :)  
**

**~Carter V.**


	6. Heartbeat in the throat

**Hey guys! I am so happy that I have gotten some reviews for this story and I am here to answer some questions that y'all had before I get on with the newest chapter.**

**DaisyAngel- I am definitely going to delve more into the story of how this make shift family came to be, I just wanted to build characters and introduce the kids as their own characters and give a little bit of a case and stuff before I got into, but stay tuned for that!**

**jjrfan- To answer your question, Jack is 28 years old and Henry is 22, I wasn't certain on how far apart in age they are but I took an educated guess**

**Anyway here is the newest chapter!**

* * *

"There is some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for."

J.R.R. Tolkien, _voiced by Sophia_

* * *

The Hotchner House

Quantico, VA

"Alright Aaron we'll let you know once we find anything at all." Officer Thompson leaves the house, he is the last cop to leave and the BAU team remains standing in a circle in the kitchen, all except JJ.

"Dad, we've got to go look for her, don't we?" Jack looks at his father with wide eyes and concern plastered all over his face.

Henry is sitting in a silent rage, Reid's mind is going 20,000 miles per minute, and Kevin is trying to console Garcia who is hysterical at this point. They are all so taken up with their own thoughts and emotions that no one notices Emily leave to go find JJ.

She is sitting in the arm chair in Sophia's room. Emily sits on the arm of the chair and JJ lays her head against her side. She is still in deep thought as she looks around her daughter's room

"It doesn't make sense."

"What doesn't?" Emily lays a gentle hand on JJ's back

"That someone would take S.J. She's a good kid, how did they even separate her from her friends? None of it makes any sense."

"Jayje, of all people you should know, these things never make sense. But think hard, there was nobody that would have wanted to hurt her, or hurt you?" JJ's head shoots up

"That's it!"

* * *

Unknown Location

"Well, it's almost noon… I'm a little surprised you haven't passed out from the pain yet, your size is misleading." There are two new rings on her arm and her head has started throbbing. Her vision is fading in and out but she refuses to pass out.

"They f-find you, y-you know." She was suddenly very cold, probably due to the blood loss "You'll… never… win." She releases heavy sighs in between her last three words trying to manage her pain.

"Well, we'll see about that, won't we S.J.?" she grimaces at the use of her favorite nickname. She looks around for any signs of an exit, any signs that show clues about his self. She can't see all that well so she does the best with what she has. This guy is an avenging sadist; he is clearly educated and sneaky. He wants to get back at her parents, but she had never heard them talk about anybody they had put in jail that would pose a threat. He is unemployed or financially stable enough to not work. He has plenty of distinguishing marks on his arms and legs; he is clean and can probably fit in well with a working class crowd. The dreaded cuckoo from the bird in the corner erupts again

"12 o' clock…" he grabs his box cutter and presses down quickly, and then everything goes black

* * *

"Keith Dunn." JJ enters the kitchen and steals the attention of the whole team, the name is familiar to a number of them

"What?" Hotch looks at his wife trying to decode the expression on her face.

"Keith Dunn, I think he has S.J."

"How? He's in jail."

"No, he was let out on parole a month ago."

"You didn't find it necessary to tell me?" Hotch is startled at the news and slightly angry at the fact that JJ didn't say anything about this sooner.

"I didn't want you to worry. I'm sorry." Henry goes over to his mom and lays his arm around her shoulders.

"Guys, I think we have a chance of finding her, we just have to get back to the BAU." The team exits the house quickly with the sole purpose of finding Sophia.

* * *

"Sophia" a gravelly voice sings her name and chills run down her spine, she pulls agains her restraints, knowing full well that it won't get her anywhere "It's almost dinner time, so I'll be back… don't go anywhere." He laughs maniacally

It is getting later and her faith in her family is starting to diminish as there gets to be more and more slashes in her arm. She still can't figure out where she is. She tries to get out of her arm restraints but they are too tight and they feel like they are going to dislocate her wrists if she pulls anymore. The cuckoo clock chirps again and she knows it is 6 o' clock by the number of rings in her arm. Now there are 18 of them and they burn and itch, she keeps racking her brain for any way to escape or at least signal her parents to where she is, that is, if she knew where she is.

* * *

JJ is pacing in the bullpen as the men are racing around the room looking for information on Keith Dunn.

"Garcia, anything?" Hotch looks hopefully looks to his friend

"No sir, it's like after he was released from prison he completely disappeared."

"Like he had the idea in his head already. Whatever he is doing to her, it's bad, it's _vengeful_." JJ starts silently crying again, this time out of frustration.

"Mom, we'll find her." Henry races off again to keep looking as Emily come running into the room

"Hotch! So it looks like Dunn applied for a credit card after he was released for parole, he used it at a stable store, a pool supplies store and a lumber yard."

"When?"

"That was 3 days ago, so he's centered somewhere near by."

"I know exactly where he is."

* * *

"There is a saying in Tibetan, 'Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.'No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that's our real disaster."

Dalai Lama XIV, _voiced by Sophia_


	7. When faith is all you have left

Unknown Location

Virginia

"The real world is where the monsters are."

― Rick Riordan, _voiced by Sophia_

* * *

"Well, well, we are moving right along now aren't we?" he runs the untainted area of her arm "have you started to wonder if they're even looking for you?" he then starts dragging his fingers around the rings he has already made. She tries to pll away but there is nowhere to go. She is starving and her mouth is extremely dry. She has been in this place for 19 hours now and her exhaustion level is maxed out, her eyelids feel heavy and she tries her hardest to fight the sleep that is trying to take over her.

* * *

Hotch, Morgan and Jack are in one of the team's back SUV's.

"It's right up here." Morgan points left as Hotch stares at the road with an intense concentration, trying to keep his anger under control until he gets his hands on Dunn.

"So this is where you made his arrest the first time?" Jack asks from the back seat. Hotch remains silent so Margan answers him

"Yeah, the sick bastard was keeping the women trapped in the basement, the only reason he got out o fjail is because he never actually layed a hand on 'em. He used fear to control them, he just shut them in the basement and let them suffer." Morgan stops talking when he sees the look on Hotch's face, knowing that, that could be what is happening to Sophia right now. They pull up to an old rickety house in the woods just oudside D.C. they grab their gear and go up to the old wooden door. Hotch points to Morgan and he busts down the locked door. They enter the house and the smell is overwhelming. They go through the whole house and they find no one.

"There's no one up here." Jack looks at his dad and they look around one more time. Hotch signals towards the basement door.

* * *

"No." Sophia looks at the monster who has been holding her captive

"What?" he sneers at her as he sits in his chair just watching her suffer, soaking his weapon of choice in a jar of bleach and chlorine.

"No, I haven't started to think that they won't come. I know they'll get here, and you do too. And that scares you and kind of pisses you off because you that when they cath you, you're going away for good this time."

"So what's to keep me from killing you right now? I obviously have nothing to lose." Sophia has a small coughing fit before she answers him

"You won't do that and you know why? Because it isn't part of your know what you want, i'll give you that, but my parents, they always know what they want, and they are pretty good at getting it."

"Yeah? So am I."

"Well by my count, I still have 3 days and 6 hours." at her last word the cuckoo clock strikes again and he places the newly sharpened blade to her right arm once again

"You were saying?" he begins to press down when the basement door comes crashing down the stairs

"FBI! Don't move!" her dad's familiar voice booms through the downstairs of the house.

"Dad!" Sophia lets out a half yell, half shriek

Dunn puts his hands on his head and gets down on the ground as Jack makes his arrest. Hotch unties Sophia's restraints and pulls her into a big hug

"I need a medic!" Morgan yell sinto his two way as Sophia clings to her dad for dear life.

* * *

"Hotch where is she?" JJ rushes into the emergency room waiting area followed by Garcia, Emily and Henry. Hotch pulls her into a hug

"She's being examined by a doctor right now."

"How did she look? Was she hurt? Was she conscious? Responsive?" JJ's words were coming out of her mouth almost faster than Hotch could fathom

"She was hurt but conscious and responsive." At this moment a middle aged doctor comes over to the group waiting on any news

"Are you the family of Sophia Jareau?"

"Yes we're her parents." Hotch replies professionally trying to hold it together for JJ's sake

"Well, she has extensive injuries. She has a pretty bad concussion on top of a broken nose, two black eyes, and we also had to stitch up the wound on her head. There are a few broken ribs and bruising to her wrists and ankles, from the looks of it she fought back pretty hard." JJ can't help but let a little smile reach her lips as she would expect nothing less from her daughter "As for the injuries to her right arm, they were too extensive and too close together to stitch and there is too much swelling, so we have to wait to fix them up. We're going to have to keep an eye on them to make sure there is no infection due to the chemicals they were infused with, but she is stable. Right now we are working on lowering her core body temperature it is extremely high and she is suffering severe dehydration so she will need to be hooked up to an I.V. for the next couple of days." JJ holds onto Hotch's arm for stability, she feels dizzy and the most horrible thought pops into her head

"Were there any, any signs of, um..." she looks at Hotch hoping he will understand and ask the question for her, he does

"Were there any signs of sexual assault?"

"No, thankfully." a sigh of relief is let out by everyone "she is going to be just fine."

"When can we see her?"

"You can go see her now, but just one or two people at a time, she needs her rest."

"Thank you doctor." Hotch shakes his hand and he disappears back into the nurses station "Do you want to go see her?" JJ has a look of pure terror on her face

"Just give me a minute, take Henry with you. I'll be there in a minute." JJ races off towards the bathroom

"Henry?" he follows Hotch towards S.J.'s room

* * *

JJ finds a secluded area in the next hallway over and sits on the bench, thinking that she is alone she lets the tears fall and soon she is openly sobing, thinking of the things this man did to her baby girl makes her sick. She feels arms come around her, it is Garcia

"It's okay Jayje, she is going to be fine." Leave it to Garcia to try to cheer her up in the worst situation she has ever been in.

"I know, I just, I can't stand to see her this way."

"Henry said she's asking for you." Jack says as he rounds the corner, pretending not to notice his step-mother's tears. JJ wipes the tears from her eyes, hugs Garcia one more time and oes to find her daughter

* * *

Hotch is leaving the room as JJ goes to open the door

"She's asking for you."

"Yeah."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." JJ walks quietly into the hospital room and Sophia is laying there, silently focused on her own breathing. "Hey baby." JJ says in a whisper as she sits in the chair next to the bed

"Hi mom" Sophia gives her mom a weak smile "I missed you" JJ let's a single tear fall again

"I missed you too baby." She runs her right hand through her daughter's hair and grabs her uninjured hand with her left "I missed you so much."

* * *

"...Yes, there are monsters and it's okay to be afraid of them, but it's not okay to let them win, and it's not okay to be one."

Jennifer Jareau


	8. In dire need of a recovery

**Well hello there readers! I received another question (thank you so much!) to answer it, Hotch is not SJ's biological father (Will is) but he assumed the role of her dad at a very young age, and he is the only father she has ever known, as for Henry, he is still in contact with Will and considers both Hotch and Will to be father figures and he has a good relationship with both of them. Jack, after the death of his mother, warmed up to the idea of JJ being a motherly figure to him and they kind of make up this weird, mismatched family that I just thought was cute. Thank you for the questions, and I promise I will start getting into the background of the characters very soon as well as bring back (on of my personal favorite) characters.**

* * *

Quantico Regional Hospital

Quantico, VA

"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon."

Woody Allen, _voiced by Emily_

* * *

There is a gentle knock on S.J.'s hospital room door

"Hey JJ, can I come in?" Emily pokes her head into the room

"Yeah, of course, come on in." JJ stands as she enters the small, single room.

"Hey Sophie, how are you doing?" Emily sits in the chair next to Sophia's bed

"Uh, not too good." she has deep circles under her eyes, her cheeks are flushed and she is paler than a ghost.

"She's been really sick today." Emily feels her forehead

"Oh wow, she's burning up." she gives a look of sympathy to JJ who also looks exhausted "Oh Hotch said to give him a call when you get a chance" she lowers her voice a little bit "he's been worrying about her all day." JJ nods her head and slips out of the room to the hallway to call him with an update

"Soph, I am so sorry this happened to you." Emily strokes S.J.'s good arm "And to have the flu on top of all of this."

"Emily?"

"Yeah?"

"You saw him right? Behind bars, he's definitely locked up right?" Emily realizes at this moment just how scared she actually is

"Yeah I did. He is definitely locked up and he has no chance of ever getting out ever again. Trust me." Emily moves up to sit next to her god daughter on the bed "and you know we did everything we could right?"

"Of course I do." JJ re-enters the room

"Your dad wants to talk to you S.J" she hands her the cell phone

"Hello? Hi dad. Yeah, i'm fine. Yeah, it's still the same, yes I slept for like 5 hours today. Did you catch all the bad guys today dad?" She laughs and playfully rolls her brown eyes, even being injured and sick doesn't change how beautiful she is "Okay, i'll see you then, I love you too, bye." she hands the phone back over to JJ who once again leaves the room just in time for another knock on the door, this time Morgan comes in

"Hey there pretty girl." he hands her a stuffed soccer ball and gives her a big hug.

"Hey Derek." he sits gently on the other side of her carefully avoiding her bandaged arm. She let's out a sigh and settles into the bed, it is comforting to know that she is surrounded by a whole team of FBI agents. Breathing is hard and her whole body aches but she still slips into sleep.

* * *

"Hey S.J." JJ says in a soothing voice, she wakes slowly from her light nap, to find her dad, brothers and niece standing near her.

"Hey guys" she is still groggy and doesn't think before she tries to pull herself up. A sharp pain shoots through her arm and she let's out a pained cry.

"We just wanted to say hi, we've got to go back to work but we wanted to see you." Hotch kisses her forehead and Henry gives her a gentle high five.

"Hi Haley." she says in a whispered voice and she rubs her tiny hand.

"Sweetie, i've got to head into the office for a little while with your dad, but Henry is going to stay here with you."

"Okay mom." This is one of the first times in the past three days that JJ has left Sophia's side and by the look in her eyes it is not easy for her to walk out the door. Honestly, it isn't easy for Sophia to watch her mom leave. She has been thinking to herself more and more that the second she is left alone again, something bad is going to happen. As much as she yearned for her independence back, she didn't want to be alone, ever again.

* * *

"...the safest course is to do nothing against one's conscience. With this secret, we can enjoy life and have no fear from death."

Voltaire, _voiced by JJ_


	9. A belief in something greater

**Just as a quick authors note, I am not trying to upset anybody or go against any persons beliefs, this is not necessarily what I believe and I mean no harm or disrespect by anything said in this chapter. I just thought this would a powerful topic and a good way to show the relationship between the brother and sister, please keep that in mind while you are reading this chapter. Thank y'all very much!**

Quantico Regional Hospital

Quantico, VA

"To believe in God or in a guiding force because someone tells you to is the height of stupidity. We are given senses to receive our information within. With our own eyes we see, and with our own skin we feel. With our intelligence, it is intended that we understand. But each person must puzzle it out for himself or herself."

Sophy Burnham, _voiced by Henry_

* * *

Henry is lying in the empty bed next to his sister's in the hospital room, there is an occasional beep from a machine, the room is a lavendar color, Sophia assumed that it was painted that way in an attempt to calm the patients that would sleep, and suffer, in there. And to be honest, it was just irritating. They have some old movie playing in the background and they are just sitting in silence.

"Hey S.J. can I ask you a question?" his voice is heavy and hesitant

"Of course." she shuts off the television sensing the seriousness of the question

he sighs before blurting out the rather complex question

"Do you believe in God?" There is an extended pause as she thinks of an answer

"I used to."

"well, what happened?" he sits up and looks at his sister who is still just laying, staring at the ceiling

"You're kidding right?" he shakes his head negatively, she shrugs as she answers her rhetoric "Life." She looks over at him and continues her explanation "Seeing the things that you do everyday, you can't honestly believe that everything happens for a reason, that there is a God controlling the awful fates that these innocent people meet. That a Being, would intentionally make bad people, like murderers and sadists, that kill people due to their own compulsions?" This is more like a question that he does not answer "I used to believe that there was answer to all of this, but now, I guess I don't really know much of anything anymore."

"So, if you don't believe in God, what helped you pull through?"

"You guys, mom, dad, Jack, the whole team. The thought that if I could just put up with a little more pain, a little more terror, then I could get out of there and live life again. I could play soccer, graduate high school, go to college, do all the things I haven't gotten the chance to do yet." her voice is a little brighter and confident than it has been in days "I didn't how I was supposed to do it, I just knew that it wasn't my time, so I had to hang on. When I die, it's going to be on my terms, not by someone else's hands." There is another heavy moment in the room, she looks up at him over her glasses, the ones she hated wearing more than most things, and she adds one last remark that, only much later would Henry realize what she meant "I may not believe in God, but there is one thing I still have faith in."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"The good guys always win."

* * *

"I always admired atheists. I think it takes a lot of faith."

Diane Frolov, _voiced by Henry_


	10. Giving Up Hope is Easy to do

Behavioral Analysis Unit

Quantico, VA

"Educate your children to self-control, to the habit of holding passion and prejudice and evil tendencies subject to an upright and reasoning will, and you have done much to abolish misery from their future and crimes from society."

― Benjamin Franklin, _voiced by Garcia_

* * *

The team is sitting in the bullpen watching JJ and Hotch have an intense looking conversation in his office, similar to the one they had had many years ago, the one right before she left the BAU.

"Work or family?" Morgan asks not daring enough to take his eyes off of the couple

"Well, at this point it really could be either." Henry says as he takes a sip of his coffee and hops on top of his desk. Today is the first full day that both JJ and Hotch are back at work at the same time. Sophia is being released from the hospital tomorrow and they are both under tremendous stress.

"Hey guys, what are we looking at?" Garcia asks cheerfully as she enters the ofice area

"Domestic." Morgan signals towards the office that JJ and Hotch are now exiting, the team scarmbles to look busy as their superior and his wife enter the bullpen.

"Hey guys we've got a case, conference room in two minutes." Hotch says not stopping on his way out the door. JJ signals to Garcia who walks with her.

"What's up?"

"I hate to ask this but is there any way that you could release S.J. tomorrow we're going to be heading to Tuscaloosa and there is no way that we will be back in time.

"Yeah of course, is that all?" JJ sighs in relief, and gives her a small smile. Hotch was right, she was making it a much bigger deal than it really was.

"Yeah, i've talked to Jack, she's going to stay with Addy until we get back."

"No."

"What?"

"Nope, Addy can't take care of a newborn and Sophia, not with the amount of attention they both need right now, she'll stay with me."

"You don't need to do that."

"Yes I do, I love her as my own and that's how I will treat her. You guys won't be gone long and she is comfortable there, we'll be fine."

"Thank you so much."

* * *

"I can walk, I don't need this thing."

"Sophia darling, I love you, but if you try to argue again I am going to make you wheel this thing yourself and since you only have one good arm, you'll probably just spin around in circles for a while." Garcia says in a joking tone. Sophia is being discharged and does not like the idea of having to ride in a wheelchair, after all, most of the damage was to her ribs and arms.

"Such a dumb rule." she says in a childish manner as she kicks the foot supports on the metal chair

"Life ain't fair kiddo." Sophia still has two black eyes, her head has a pretty nasty gash, her ribs are bruised but healing at a fairly steady pace. Her right arm is bandaged from the shoulder all the way to her wrist and in a sling, a few of the laceration were infected but expected to clear up just fine. As for the emotional effects, there is an extremely noticable change in her disposition. She is quieter and less cheery as she used to be, which is to be expected, most of the time she just sits in silence with a catatonic look on her face. That is, when she isn't trying to strike up an argument with the closest person, usually JJ.

Garcia had pulled out the couch mattress and propped up pillows in the living room. Sophia is supposed to be in bed or resting most of the time.

"Thanks Garcia." Sophia says as she sits down on the creaky mattress and lays back, today has been the most she has moved in days and she is so tired she can barely keep her eyes straight

"So do you wa-" Garcia starts and realizes that Sophia has already dozed off, taking this opportunity to video chat JJ to let her know everything is okay

"Hey Garcia how did everything go? She isn't giving you any trouble is she?

Garcia scoffs "Like your kid is ever any trouble." She moves the laptop so JJ can see Sophia sound asleep on the couch "She's fine, everything is fine. Just solve that case so you can come home." They share a quick smile and goodbye. Sophia is still asleep but is mumbling and making noises. She has been having the same nightmare since the attack and sometimes she wakes up and can't breathe. The panic attacks are getting worse. She wakes with a jolt which sends a shooting pain through her arm and the heavy breathing makes her ribs feel like thay are going to crack back open.

"Ow." is all she can get out as she is gasping for oxygen

"You okay kiddo?" Garcia rushes to her side and Sophia settles into her embrace and starts to cry

"I hate this." they just sit in silence for a while until she falls back asleep, this time for the night."

* * *

County Police Department

Tuscaloosa, AL

"How is she?" Henry comes up behind his mom

"Sleeping." JJ rubs her temple

"Good, she's finally getting some rest, she hasn't slept in days."

"Yeah that makes two of us."

"So the unsub is moving east and fast, he's spiraling and we need to get to him fast, Henry you're with me. JJ get the local reporters on the phone and have them warn the public, go with Morgan and Prentiss." Hotch splls his words out quickly as the team assembles putting on their bullet proof vests, he kisses her on the cheek and they rush out two different doors.

* * *

"Scars are not injuries, Tanner Sack. A scar is a healing. After injury, a scar is what makes you whole."

― China Miéville, The Scar, _voiced by Sophia_

**Hey guys, so I would love if some of y'all who are reading this.. or not reading... could review for me so I can know what I am doing right or wrong. It would be greatly appreciated to hear from you and if you have any suggestions I will try super hard to work them into my story any way I can! Thanks guys!  
**_~Carter V._


	11. but gaining it back

**My dearest readers, I know I have been focusing A LOT on Sophia and everything that has happened to her, I promise I will be moving out of that soon and starting to focus on the back grounds and the relationships of the other characters. I am also working on a new case for the team. I have many many many ideas in my head and I am struggling to get them onto the screen fast enough before I forget them all, so please be patient and I hope you are enjoying the story line as it is now, and if you aren't, it will be changing to a new focus shortly. Please keep giving it a chance! Thanks! Y'all are the best!**

Hotchner Household

Quantico, VA

(1 week later)

"More than most, I know the pain of surviving."

― Ann Aguirre, _voiced by Sophia_

* * *

Hotch is sitting at the kitchen counter as JJ is making dinner. The house is quiet.

"So I was looking over that file you gave me earlier."

"Yeah? What do you think?" JJ asks without looking up from the stove

"I think it's a good idea." all of a sudden there is a loud crash from upstairs accompanied by some loud, indecipherable shouts from Sophia

"Soph?" JJ yells as she rushes up the stairs "Soph are you okay?" when she gets to the doorframe of Sophia's room the contents of her desk are spilled and scattered all over the floor and Sophia is sitting on her bed staring at the pile of stuff with disdain

"I'm fine." her tone curt and distant

"What happened?" There is no answer "You know Sophia, I can't even begin to understand what you are going through, but I am getting a little sick of this attitude. Clean this mess up and meet me and your father downstairs." JJ leaves the room and Sophia gets down on the ground to try to pick everything up with her one good arm. After she gets some of it cleaned up she trudges down the stairs and her parents are sitting at the kitchen table. She takes the empty chair across from them knowing that they mean business.

"Sophia, I understand that this has been a rough couple weeks, I do. But this has gone too far, the attitude you have taken is unacceptable."

"What your father is trying to say, is that we think this is highly self-destructive behavior and" she pauses for a minute, pushes a piece of hair behind her ear and then continues "we would like you to see a therapist." Sophia's head shoots up and she makes eye contact with her mom

"You're kidding me right? You think i'm crazy now too?"

"No of course we don't think you're crazy. We just think that it may be helpful to the healing process to speak with someone who is objective to the situation"

"I don't _want_ to talk anymore. Do you have any idea how embarassing this is? It's bad enough that i'm going to have to explain to my friends and my team, i'm going to have to tell them the reason I haven't been in school for two weeks and why I have a big ass gash in my head. I want to get past this, not dwell on it." Sophia gets up and starts back to her room

"It's time for dinner."

"I'm not hungry!" she slams her door and grabs her "go bag" that she kept for when she had to go stay with someone when her parents had a case, and she leaves through the balcony in her room.

* * *

"Aaron I knew this was going to happen, maybe I should go talk to her."  
"Give her some time to cool off, let her think about it, she'll come around."

* * *

Emily is sitting at her laptop in her condo when there is a knock at the door. She opens it to a very distraught Sophia.

"S.J. what are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry is this a bad time? I can go." she starts to head back down the hallway as Emily grabs her by the hood and turns her around

"No, you're not going anywhere, come in." She gestures towards the living room and they sit beside one another on the couch. After a few minutes of silence Sophia breaks it by blurting out

"My parents want me to go to a shrink." She is completely defeated

"Well, why don't you want to go?"

"I'm not crazy, I don't need any help."

"Going to a therapist does not make you crazy and there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting help when you need it. What you went through, must be taking a huge toll on you, maybe more than even you realize right now." She pauses for a moment. "Are you still having those nightmares?" Sophia doesn't seem to hear the question

"I am just so sick of being scared all the time, and I am so tired of being prodded with questions, I feel like i'm suffocating and I can't scratch my way out of this dark angry hole that i'm in. My mom doesn't realize how hard it is to try to be the person I was, she just sees this bad attitude but when I try to speak it's all that will come out." Sophia looks at Emily who is a little shocked, this is the most she has heard Sophia speak since the attack.

"Does your mother know where you are?" As soon as the thought pops into her head her phone rings

"Hello? Yeah, Hi JJ." She gives a knowing look to Sophia "Yeah she's here with me. No, it's fine, she's going to stay here with me tonight if that's alright with you? Alright I'll bring her back in the morning. Okay, bye." she hangs up the phone "You're going to get me in trouble one of these days." trying to lighten the mood, and then turning serious again "She's worried about you." Sophia looks down and a tear falls into her lap, Emily knows that she wasn't supposed to see it so she pretends like she didn't "Okay, so popcorn and a movie?" Sophia nods her head and leans further into the couch

"No, subtitles this time."

* * *

"I have not yet begun to fight."

John Paul Jones, _voiced by Sophia_


	12. that's a whole different story

Behavioral Analysis Unit

Quantico, VA

"Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands."

Anne Frank, _voiced by Sophia_

* * *

"Hey boss, where's JJ?" Jack asks his dad as he enters their office area

"She's dropping your sister off at school, she has to meet with the principal, I was supposed to be there too but we have a case. Everybody meet in the conference room in five minutes."

"Sophia's going back to school today?" Jack asks his step-brother

"Yeah, that should be interesting, huh?" Henry slightly jokes as he pours himself a cup of coffee and the boys share a slight chuckle as they know what their sister can be like when she is unhappy, and they walk into the conference room together

Hotch begins his spiel, "Alright guys we're heading to Texas. There have been a series of men in their twenties and thirties..."

* * *

"Now, Ms. Jareau, you have missed a considerable amount of class time."

"Yes sir, I have all of my make up work, finished and ready to be handed in."

"Wonderful." The first bell rings "Alright Sophia, why don't you head to class, you don't want to be late on your first day back."

"Yes sir, I'll see you later mom."

"Bye Sweets." Sophia grabs her bag and quickly leaves the principal's office.

"Mrs. Hotchner, excuse my asking but have you and your husband been thinking of anything in the ways of psychological reinforcments?" He is clearly trying to put it lightly

"Actually, we're working on that. It's a little bit of a taboo subject with Sophia right now."

"Well the school has a wonderful on-campus psychologist and grief counselor, i'm sure she would be able to make time for Sophia whenever she is ready." JJ's phone rings, it's Hotch.

"Sir, I don't mean to be rude, but my team is leaving and I have a flight to catch, thank you so much for your time." She leaves, happily avoiding the subject of Sophia's psychological state

* * *

Sophia enters her english classroom and takes her normal desk three from the right and three from the front. She is wearing a sweater to cover her rather grotesque healing scars. Other students begin filtering into the room including some of her friends

"S.J.?" she looks up from her workbook and shares a weak smile with her best friend Reagan.

"Hey Reags." she runs up and hugs Sophia who winces at the pain to her still healing ribcage.

"Hey yourself!" she is clearly disturbed by the large laceration on Sophia's head and the look on her face that she never really showed anyone, pain. She didn't pay any mind to the changes in her friend but simply took the seat next to her as always.

"Okay class, settle down and take your seats please." Their teacher, Mrs. Porter enters the room "Welcome back Ms. Jareau. Now today class..." this statement causes everybody in the room to look at her which only makes her more self conscious.

* * *

Halfway through the day, the school's heat kicks on and it gets unusually hot forcing Sophia to remove her sweater, leaving her in a short sleeved t-shirt. In the hallway, Kate Dylan walks up to Sophia, they have been enemies since middle school. "Hey Sophia, what happened to you? Did you get pushed through a paper shredder?" Sophia smirks and walks up to Kate

"Actually I was kidnapped and tortured by a psychopath. How was _your_ weekend?" She pushes past her and while she walks down the hallway everyone stops and stares at her.

* * *

After the final bell, students are rushing to go home, to their sports or after school activities. Sophia walks rather slowly over to the girl's locker room, she still isn't cleared to play but today is a game day so she has to suit up anyway. All the girls are in the locker room by the time she gets there. They are laughing and goofing around but when she walks in they all go silent.

"S.J. we are so sorry." Jordan, one of the captains, says to her as she walks up and gives her a hug. They all show their sympathy and hand her a gift basket filled with things she loves including her own game day ribbon that the team made themselves in their school colors; green and black.

"Thank you guys so much, it really means a lot. I'm just happy to be back." She goes over to her locker where everything is as she left it. She starts changing and while she is changing her shirt she can feel a set of eyes on her. She turns around and sees some of the girls eyeing her large black, blue and purple bruise that encompasses a good majority of her torso.

"It's not as bad as it looks, trust me." she still has a hard time trying to get her right arm in and out of the shirt sleeves so she let's out a little grunt of discomfort and basically all of the girls stop breathing. Once her uniform is on she stops the girls before they exit

"Guys, I just want you to know, i'm not broken, you don't have to act any differently around me now. I'm fine, really." They don't say anything so she continues "And you guys should keep working hard because without me on the field you're basically screwed." she laughs and this gives her team the reassurance they needed that she in fact was_ fine_.

* * *

Hotchner House

Quantico, VA

9:00 P.M. a few nights later

Sophia is sitting on the couch icing her ribs and watching t.v. when the front door opens and JJ walks into the living room returning early from their case in Texas to check on her daughter

"Hey baby" Sophia doesn't answer her "How was school?"

"Swell." she gets up off the couch and goes up into her room, JJ follows her

"You know what, this has got to stop, I miss the old S.J."

"Well mom, the old S.J. is gone, she _died_ around hour 8... or was it 9? Do you have any idea how hard it is to hold everything together? I try to act like my old self, I swear to you I do, but all that I can handle right now is anger. And I am allowed, at this point in my life, to be angry because something horrific happened to me and I don't know how to handle it." JJ's expression softens

"Why haven't you talked to me?"

"When mom? You and dad are never here! When you are here you are too busy to even notice that i'm drowning here. It's getting darker and darker and you don't have to deal with it because when this shit gets too hard you can fly to another state and solve other people's problems and avoid all your own issues. Do you know how hard it is to watch you reunite other people with their family, with their children, while I am here all alone? I used to try to hide it so I didn't disappoint you but it's just too hard."

"I didn't know you felt that way."

"I used think that was just because I was so good at hiding it, but now I think it's just because you don't care enough to see what's right in front of you. I mean, it took me getting attacked for you to spend any real time with me."

"Sophia, I have tried my hardest to balance you and your brothers and my job and everything else in my life. But I love you more than anything and I thought you knew that. I am sorry if you ever thought that you went unnoticed or that I didn't spend every minute of my trips thinking of you and how you were doing in school or in soccer or if you were missing me as much as I was missing you at that very moment. But don't you _dare_ say that I don't care about your feelings or your well being because everything I have ever done since you were born was to make sure that you were safe and cared for, and I failed you, I'm so sorry. I will never forgive myself for allowing something like that to happen to you, I will never get the image of you in that hospital bed out of my mind. I understand that you're angry but that is no excuse to diminish the fact that I have made sacrifices for you, some that you don't even know about. Get some rest. Good night _Sophia_."

* * *

"Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them."

Bill Ayers, _voiced by JJ_


	13. When you love someone

"Whenever you are confronted with an opponent. Conquer him with love."

Mahatma Gandhi, _voiced by JJ_

* * *

Behavioral Analysis Unit

Quantico, VA

A few days after the team's return from Texas

"Hey JJ, do you have that paperwork that I left on your desk done yet?" Emily asks over her shoulder as JJ walks through the bullpen. JJ slams it down on her desk and she walks by. She heads directly into her office and shuts the door. The whole team watches her unusual behavior and they all share a look

"What was that?" Reid asks confused, even he notices something is wrong

"I have no idea." Emily says shaking her head. Hotch walks into the room and Jack runs to catch up with him

"Hey dad!" He falls into step with him "What's up with JJ?" Hotch looks up at him with his usual look

"There was an... altercation, at home the other night and Sophia isn't staying at the house right now." Jack's eyes go wide and his mouth drops in shock

"What? Where is she staying?" Jack follows his dad into his office and sits down in the armchair across from his desk

"With one of her team mates, your mother hasn't told me the entire story yet, I just know that it was bad." Jack rubs the back of his neck "We woke up today to find that she was gone with a letter on her pillow saying that she was going to think about things and she would be staying with a friend for a few days." After this statement Garcia enters Hotch's office

"Sir, Hi Jack" they both greet her with a nod

"Yeah Garcia, what do we got?" Jack respectfully bows out allowing them to talk about whatever the new case would be

* * *

"What's going on?" Henry asks while he and his brother sit at the conference table drinking coffee, waiting for the briefing

"I guess Sophia took off this morning. Her and mom got in a _huge_ fight and she just left." Jack shrugs and leans back in his chair, JJ enters at this very moment and gives a smile to both of her boys

"Hey mom" they both say in unison

"I know you guys know." she says sitting down next to Henry

"She'll be back before you know it mom." he places his hand on her shoulder and she kisses his cheek

"Yeah, but I never should have given her a reason to leave in the first place. Part of me wants to go right over there and drag her home by her shirt sleeve, but I know if I force her to come back she will just resent it, resent me." It was beyond expected of her to blame herself for the whole fight. The rest of the team enters the room to do the briefing

"Okay so we're headed to Bangor, Maine there have been a series of murders that have been set up to look like animal mauling's" Garcia states

"So, how do we know that they aren't just that? It is Maine..." Henry states matter-of-factly warranting a laugh from Morgan.

"Well, the victimology is exactly the same in every case, a teenaged girl, from the same high school, brown hair, brown eyes, athletic, 16 years old." Garcia challenges Henry's sassy comment as usual

"All of them were the exact same age?" Reid asks rather shocked

"All of them were in the same class." Garcia states as she is clearly nervous

JJ stares at the screen there was an undeniable resemblance between these girls and Sophia, she swallows hard as she is completely unfocused on the case. Her mind goes back to the moment she first saw Sophia after the attack, back to the crime scene photos, she sees Dunn's face and she can't help but feel a little uneasy.

"JJ?" Hotch asks noticing that she is out of it

"Yeah? Sorry, what?" she comes out of her own thoughts to notice the whole team staring at her

"Uh, never mind, we'll talk later, wheels up in 30 everyone." Hotch breezes out of the room and the team turns and looks at her

"JJ are you okay?" Emily asks placing a hand on top of hers

"Yeah, perfect." She says as she gets up out of her chair and heads straight for Hotch's office

Emily turns to face the two youngest members of the team and they shrug simultaneously and get up and leave quickly trying their hardest to avoid questioning from Emily, whom, as they have learned the hard way, is extremely hard to lie to.

"JJ, if you are too close to this case, maybe you should sit this one out" he cuts himself off when he realizes she is crying and he stops what he is doing and goes straight to her, pulling her into a hug.

"I just really needed that, I'm okay now. I'm just going to leave Sophia a quick message, letting her know where we'll be." JJ ducks out, thoroughly embarrassed, to call her daughter

* * *

Jefferson High School

Quantico, VA

"Hey you're Sophia, right?" A tall boy, with light brown hair, bright green eyes and freckles across his nose catches Sophia's attention away from her book while she is sitting just outside the library doors

"Yeah? You are?" she asks nervously, after everything that has happened to her she hasn't been so quick to be kind to strangers

"I'm Lennon" he extends his hand and she shakes it auspiciously

"As in John?" he laughs and he shakes his head

"As in 'little cape'" he uses air quotations with his fingers "that's where I was born, Cape Cod. I'm new here; I sit in the back of your English class."

"Oh really? When did you get here?

"While you were absent I take it." he steals a quick glance at her arm which she has stopped trying to cover up

"Oh." she lets out a nervous giggle "Do you want to sit down?" he takes her invitation kindly and sits next to her

"What are you reading?" she hands him the book "David Rossi? Never heard of him." he hands her the book back and she scoffs a bit

"So, how do you like JHS?" she tries to change the subject rather than explain her extensive family to him

"A lot better than I did yesterday." the bell rings signaling the end of lunch period. "I'll see you later?" It came out more as a question and she nods and gives him a smile

* * *

Bangor Police Department

Bangor, ME

"So this person is knowledgeable about hunting and the paths around the forests nearby. Odds are that he is handsome and young, he is luring these girls into the woods in one way or another, there are no signs of struggle meaning these girls either went willingly or trusted this individual." Morgan spoke confidently as he gave the profile to the local police of the small Maine town.

"Start thinking of younger authority figures around town that may raise any red flags; teachers, coaches, counselors whether they are at the school or a camp of some sort. Nothing is too little and at this point _nothing_ is unimportant or should be overlooked. We have another girl missing and we do not have much time, if he continues on his usual schedule." Jack says sternly as his father would, this case is particularly hard on the Hotch-Jareau family members. The girls bear a striking resemblance to SJ and it is not going well. It is showing on all of the team members faces, they are exhausted and frustrated and getting nowhere fast.

* * *

"Three months ago, if you asked me, I would have told you that if you really loved someone, you'd let them go. But now I look at you and I see that I've been wrong. If you really love someone, I think you have to take them back."

Jodi Picoult


	14. The Voice of Reason

"In everybody's life there's a point of no return. And in a very few cases, a point where you can't go forward anymore. And when we reach that point, all we can do is quietly accept the fact. That's how we survive."

Haruki Murakami, _Voiced by Sophia_

* * *

The Coffee Bean Coffee Shop

Quantico, VA

"Sophia" A soft male voice sounds behind her, she turns around to see a gray haired, mustached man, in an expensive Italian suit. He has a gentle grin on his face causing his eyes to squint a bit and he speaks again "Long time, no see don't you think little lady?"

"Dave!" She stands to give him a hug and she takes in his scent of cologne and cigar smoke. He breathes in and catches a whiff of shampoo and vanilla perfume.

"How have you been kiddo?" He catches a glimpse of the extensive scarring on her arm exposed by her JHS Girls' Soccer shirt. He also picks up on the differences in her almost immediately; she isn't smiling, she is slouching and crossing her arms showing her insecurity and un-comfortableness even in the presence of someone she has known her whole life, someone who represents a grandfather in her rather vacant family life. He also notices that her clothes are baggier than they've ever been and her nails are bitten down to stubs, she has dark circles under her eyes that she half-heartedly tried to cover with make-up.

"I've been… you know." He, in fact, knows exactly how she's been, it is written all over her face

"Yeah, I've been a little 'you know' myself lately. Mind if I sit a while?"

"Not at all." She signals to the chair across the table from her in the small café. She places her shaky hands on her warm mug and focuses back on Rossi.

"So, how's the family?" Rossi asks, clearly unsure of how to begin the conversation he wanted to have with her, the conversation her parents wanted him to have with her even more. David Rossi has always been a symbol of wisdom in S.J.'s life. He was someone she could trust even with her deepest secrets, which is probably why Sophia was the one who wanted this conversation the most.

"They're…" She pauses knowing she is treading on thin ice "busy."

"Yeah" he lets out a light chuckle "I know what that's like" he pauses and regains all seriousness "And how are you?" Her eyes lock onto his and she tries her damnedest to keep her cool and she simply replies

"Okay"

"No you're not."

She slightly smiles "Why do you ask, when you already know the answer?" He laughs again and places a hand on hers

"I figured I would give you a chance to tell me the truth, you blew it kid." He smiles at her trying to keep the situation light and unintimidating

"That obvious, huh?"

"You're talking to the guy that started the BAU, remember?" There really isn't much wiggle room"

"Okay, it's just, hard."

"What is?"

she shrugs "Trying to move on."

"You'll get there Sophie, it's only been a month. Your soul will heal just like your black eyes and your arm. Physical scars take time to heal but emotional scars take much longer. But, scars are scars and they'll all heal just the same." Sophia sits in silence for a minute "And the wounds made between you and your family, those will scar and heal too. Do you believe me?" She shakes her head 'yes' and realizes that he's right, all the mistakes she made in the past month come rushing back and she knows she needs to go home.

"Tell your mom I say hello." He stands up and kisses her on the forehead before exiting the coffee shop. She gathers her bag and things and quickly leaves as well and heads towards home.

* * *

The Hotchner House  
Quantico, VA

"Mom?" she shouts as she walks through the front door, JJ walks down the wooden staircase and has a discerning look on her face. Sophia catches a look at her mom for the first time in over a week and she starts to sob, right there in the foyer. "I'm so so sorry." She drops her stuff and JJ rushes to her daughter and wraps her in an embrace and they stand there for about 10 minutes just holding each other. There is an instant forgiveness that only exists between a mother and her daughter.

"Welcome back little girl. We've really missed you around here."

* * *

"Pain is a pesky part of being human, I've learned it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we could all do without, in our lives here. Pain is a sudden hurt that can't be escaped. But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing. Pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air! We may not have wings growing out of our backs, but healing is the closest thing that will give us that wind against our faces."

C. JoyBell C., _Voiced by Sophia_


	15. Something Snapped

Sophia is running down the field during a practice scrimmage between the varsity and the J.V. team. She is gaining on the defense when all of a sudden a J.V. player comes up behind her and basically tackles her. She hits the ground hard and it takes her by surprise. She stands up and turns around to see it was none other than Kate Dylan.

"Hey Dylan! What the hell was that?" She stalks over to her and gets extremely close to her face

"It was called a slide tackle, you should try it sometime" She starts to turn away but Sophia can't let this one go.

"First of all, I play offense. Second, it was illegal and if you try something like that on me again, you're going to get a cleat through the skull, got me?" She pushes her shoulders

"Is that a threat Jureau?"

"It's a promise, Dylan." She starts to walk away when she hears Kate say something to a team mate

"She can't be all that tough if she got attacked." Something inside Sophia snaps and she turns around and tackles Kate to the ground and starts wailing on her face. She is out of control and even if she wanted to stop she probably couldn't. The couch and a few of her team mates pull her off of Kate but she continues to yell

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you even say that?" She is screaming with hot tears running down her face and blood coming out of her knuckles. Kate is being helped up and holding her face in her hands. She is bleeding a lot and multiple team members are still holding S.J. back waiting for her to calm down.

"Okay thanks, coach." JJ hangs up her phone "That was S.J.'s coach. She got into a fight with another girl at practice today. I have to go get her."

"Oh my God, is she okay?" Emily asks

"Yeah, from the sounds of it, she is just fine." JJ says as she arches her eyebrows

"She's a fighter, just like her momma" Morgan adds before JJ leaves the office exasperated

JJ walks down the empty hallway of Jefferson High School and sees Sophia sitting in a chair outside the Prinicpal's office, the enter the office and sit across from the Principal.

"Alright Sophia, You know we have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to violence, but when Coach Marcella told me what Kate said I decided that we are going to take a bit of mercy with your punishment." JJ did not ask questions but she made a mental note to ask about what Kate had said after the meeting "So we are benching you for two games." Sophia lowers her gaze and nods "Sophia, I know you've had a tough year, but try to keep your head up kiddo."

"Yes sir. Thank you, sir." JJ and Sophia leave to office and get into her car

"So do you want to tell me what happened?" JJ asks as she starts the car. Sophia doesn't say anything; she just focuses out the window "Sophia? Don't do this, please, what happened?" Sophia's lips purse and her jaw tightens and tears roll down her cheeks

"She made fun of what happened to me." She wipes a tear away "She has no idea what she's talking about." She shakes her head and her ponytail bounces "She has no idea the hell I was in. I don't know what happened to me, I just went insane. I'm sorry mom, I just couldn't control it." JJ suddenly found that she couldn't be mad at her, she realized the strength her daughter possessed and she decided she knew what would help her.


	16. Toughness fades into forgiveness

"We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves."

-François Duc de La Rochefoucauld, _Voiced by Sophia_

Behavioral Analysis Unit

Quantico, VA

JJ walks into the BAU followed closely by Sophia. She isn't quite certain why she is here but she follows her mother's orders to dress in workout clothes and follow her. She knew her mom had been working hard and thinking even harder of ways to get her out of the house and get her to feeling more like her again. At this point, Sophia would try anything to actually feel better. The team members are sitting at their desks, everyone except Morgan. SJ sits on top of Henry's desk as JJ disappears into one of the back hallways. Henry gives Sophia a questioning look and she just looks back confused and adds a shrug. They communicate a lot nonverbally, they always have. They have a very close connection and they could always tell what the other was thinking. It was a cool sibling quirk that they shared.

JJ comes back, this time followed by Morgan who is in an FBI t-shirt and basketball shorts. He points to SJ with his pointer and middle fingers and then taps twice on his left shoulder, meaning for her to follow him. She does so quietly, still very confused. They go down a few flights of stairs and into the FBI's fitness center. Morgan nods to someone working at the desk who shares a warm smile with Sophia. They walk past all the machines and the other agents working out and into a back room. The floor is covered with mats, the walls have mirrors on them and there are punching bags hanging from the ceiling in the corners.

"Alright kid." Morgan says enthusiastically as he grabs a hand pad and straps it to his hand "Your mom has told me that you have been looking for a way to let out some aggression. This helped her a lot when she was going through some stuff a while back, and I think that it will really help you too." He hits the pad twice with his unpadded hand and says "let it rip!" She looks at him puzzled and lightly taps it with her fist.

"That's all you got?" He smiles at her. She really doesn't know what to make of this "Come on, first of all, stance is very important." He shows her how to stand to ensure her balance and shows her the right way to step to enhance the power behind her punches "Okay try it again." She punches again, this time much harder. It feels good, too. She gives a few more punches. "Is that all you got kid? You think that will knock someone out? You think that will let an unsub know that you mean business? Show him whose boss." At his last two sentences, the vision of her attacker pops into Sophia's mind and she lets loose and starts wailing as hard as she can on the pads.

Morgan is no longer himself, his face is replaced with Dunn's and she is back in his basement only this time she was able to free herself from the restraints and she is beating him, trying desperately to get away. Her punches are getting harder and faster and her eyes become dead and blank. Morgan notices that he has lost her and he puts his pads down, she is now punching his stomach as hard as she can. Tears are falling from her eyes and she is letting out yelps of pain as she relives the beatings and cutting she experienced. Morgan is able to wrap his muscular arms around her tiny frame and eventually she stops trying to fight him off and she is back in reality. She hugs him back and she is shaking. Her knuckles are bright red; one of them is even bleeding a little bit. Even though she went back to that awful place, she relived the worst days of her life again for the hundredth time, she felt… _better_. She felt relief, knowing that she has some power now, she could defend herself, at least she could try, if it ever came back to that. And if she couldn't, her family would always be there to defend her and fight for her and save her, just as they had before. Trying to get over what happened to her would be a lifelong battle, but he is in jail now and he is never getting out.

"Thank you Derek." He is still holding her in a comforting hug. He is running a gentle hand over her hair

"You're welcome Sophia." He lets her go and grabs her hand "Now let's go wrap your hands up Rocky." He gives her his signature grin and they walk out of the room and back up to the BAU.

Sophia is sitting at Emily's desk, she has bright orange pre-wrap on her hands covered mostly with medic tape. She is spinning slightly in the chair waiting for the team to finish their meeting. She figures she will probably be staying with Garcia, there is no way her parents would ever let her stay home alone now. Not that she would really want to. She is jolted by her phone vibrating in her pocket, she knows better than to have it on loud at the office. It is Lennon

"Hello?"

"Hey SJ"

"Hey Len, what's up?"

"Uh, nothing too much, I was just wondering if you wanted to go to a movie or something tonight?" She smiles and then panics as the team starts to exit the conference room

"Yeah, that sounds awesome! I have to go home and stuff first but can I call you later?" She puts her face down and faces away from Emily who is now standing above her

"Yeah sounds perfect, talk to you later."

"Yup, bye." She hangs up quickly and then looks back up to the suspicious glances of Emily and her mother "What?"

"Who was that Miss Bashful?" Emily asks with a smile as she grabs her bag from under her desk

"A friend from school." Is all she says hoping that they are in too much of a hurry to ask any more questions, which luckily they are.

"Okay…" JJ starts dubiously "Well we have a case in Georgia, we'll be gone a couple days, and I need you to"

"Pack a bag and stay with Penelope. Got it." She finishes her mother's statement, knowing the routine all too well "I'll see you when you get back."

"I love you. Be good." JJ kisses her forehead as the team rushes out the door, when she is sure that everyone is out the door she grabs her cell phone and redials Lennon's number.

"Tough times never last but tough people do."

-Robert H Schuller, _Voiced by Morgan_


	17. When it rains, it pours

"Keep your fears to yourself but share your courage with others."

~Robert Louis Stevenson, _Voiced by Hotch_

* * *

Quantico,VA

Three months later…

Sophia is staying at Garcia's apartment, as per usual. It is around two in the morning when the shrill tone of her cell phone breaks her out of one of the best sleeps she has ever had.

"Hello?" She squints her eyes at the light of the phone and her voice is raspy and barely there.

"Hey S.J. it's Penelope."

"What? Where are you? I thought…"

"I had to sneak out a little while ago. Listen I am sending an agent to come get you. Can you be ready in 5 minutes?" Sophia is still very sleepy and the words are barely registering in her mind.

"What? Why? I mean, I guess. Why?" She stammers as she gets up and starts to get dressed in something other than her captain America sleep bottoms.

"I will explain when you get here. I have to go, I'll see you soon. I love you little one." The phone clicks off and she knows that she is gone. A million and one thoughts are rushing through Sophia's mind while she gathers some things and throws on jeans, an old FBI sweatshirt and puts her hat over her matted hair. She waits by the door until there is a knock. Sensing the seriousness of the situation, she looks through the peephole in the door first before opening it to Agent Anderson standing there. He gives her a reassuring smile and carries her bag for her. They get in the black SUV with the federal license plate and drive the five minutes back to the FBI Headquarters. Once through the door Sophia runs up to the BAU evading the incredibly slow elevator and sprinting up the four flights of stairs and straight to Garcia's lair.

"Penelope? What is going on?" Garcia turns around to see a worried Sophia

"Take a seat." Penelope pulls a rolling computer chair over next to hers and grabs SJ's hands. "Sweetie, there has been a threat put on the team." SJ takes a sharp intake of breath and her body becomes rigid. These are the exact words she hopes to never hear anybody say to her "They are okay but they have to stay in Chicago a bit longer. It turns out they were dealing with a team of suicide bombers and there is a threat that one will be sent into a public area tomorrow morning. They are working hard to make sure that doesn't happen, but it turns out that the leader knows a bit more about your parents than we thought and your dad told me to make sure you were here. Okay?" Sophia is in complete shock, never understanding how these monsters can have so much hatred for her parents when all they are trying to do is make the world a better place.

What Garcia didn't tell her is that Henry and Jack are both in the room with one of the members, and he has a bomb strapped to his chest and if they try to make a move he is going to set it off. Sophia sits in the back of Garcia's office in silence for a long while. The phone doesn't ring, no one comes in and the only sound that is heard is the clicking of the keys of her keyboard as she furiously types into her multiple computers.

* * *

It is now six thirty AM and Sophia is still sitting in the same exact spot, barely blinking or breathing, just sitting. She hadn't even noticed that Garcia had left the room; she is pulled from her catatonic state by the smell of freshly brewed coffee. She grasps the warm cup and presses it to her lips. She feels sick to her stomach but she drinks it anyway because she can't bring herself to sleep at a time like this. Her mind is going a mile a minute when the phone rings. But she can only hear Garcia's side of the conversation

"Hello? Okay, yes sir, yes she is here. Yes sir. Yes. Okay." Sophia is hanging onto ever monosyllabic word she releases until Garcia hands her the phone

"Hello?"

"Sophia…" She hears her father's voice on the phone "Listen to me okay?" Sophia nods even though she knows he cannot see her "We're going to be coming home soon okay? We're working on the case and we've got it under control." He continues to spew lies in an attempt to make his daughter feel better. "But I need you working this case with me too, got that?" Ever since she was little her father has asked her to work cases with him, when in reality what he meant was to do what he says and to stay positive. To think good thoughts for the team and to help Garcia in any way she could. And there was no way in hell she was going to stop now.

"Yes sir." Is all she can say as she sniffles and tries to ease her breathing

"That's my girl." She can almost hear the classic smirk that he always gave to her "I love you. Don't you dare forget that."

"Yes sir, I love you too." She says trying to sound strong "To the moon and back."

"To the moon and back." His voice is getting further away and then there is a shuffling noise. JJ's voice comes through the speaker

"SJ?"

"Yeah mom?" Hearing her mother's voice she couldn't help but want to cry, she just patched things up with her and if she loses her now, she would never forgive herself for allowing that time to slip through her fingers

"Listen to me, there is a lot going on, but keep your head up kiddo. I'll see you real soon, okay? I love you more than anything else."

"I love you forever, I like you for always…" Sophia starts the phrase from the book her mother used to read to her every night, whether she was home or if she had to do it over the phone when she was on a case.

"As long as I'm living…" JJ's voice cuts out before she can finish and there is a loud crash or bang or some kind of noise and a bunch of screaming

"Mom? ...Mom?...MOM!?" JJ doesn't answer and then the phone goes to static. Sophia drops the phone and begins to sob, this is it. She thinks to herself as she grabs onto Garcia so she doesn't fall over. Garcia helps her sit back down onto one of the chairs and starts dialing her phone and clicking away at her keyboard again. The phone is on speaker this time and it just keeps ringing. No answer from anyone.

* * *

"It is hard to be brave when you are only a very small animal."

~Winnie the Pooh, _Voiced by Sophia_


	18. Even when we're miles apart

The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other.

MARIO PUZO, _Voiced by Jack_

_Sophia is sitting in a small, crowded room all in black. Her mascara is running down her face and she is pale. She is standing beside her father and her half-brother. There is a line of people walking through and shaking their hands, a woman, someone she recognizes as an agent from the FBI comes up to her looking extremely sad_

_ "I'm so sorry for your loss Sophia." Sophia gives her a thankful look and then points her attention to the front of the room where there are two caskets, with pictures of her mother and her brother. Her heart drops into the pit of her stomach and she feels like she is going to be sick. She looks to the other side of the room to see Emily and Morgan sitting in their black clothes as well, a look of regret and guilt across each of their faces. Sophia feels like she can barely breathe and she realizes for the first time, exactly where she is, what had happened and she remembers the fact that she heard the explosion that killed her family and there was absolutely nothing she could have done to stop it. She tentatively brings herself to look at her father. To look at him quickly, any other person would probably just think he was a well-dressed man, with a serious look on his face, or a man that was simply un-amused with his surroundings. But looking into his deep brown eyes, she realizes that he is the saddest of all, he isn't crying, he would hate for her and Jack to see him cry, she knows that. She also knows that he had been up the whole night before crying. She also knew that this would undoubtedly change their lives forever, for the worse. She left the grievance line and sits next to Emily, the closest thing she had to a mother left. Emily runs her hands through her hair and she whispers in her ear_

_ "Chin up kiddo." That is something JJ always said to her whenever she was sad. At those three words, Sophia… woke up._

She is on a flight to Chicago, to meet her family, her _whole_ family. Although no one was killed in the explosion Henry and Jack were extremely burned and suffered a few other injuries, they caught the guys, as always, and the boys were healing in a hospital. Her parents had asked Garcia to keep her at her house, but she refused to stay in Virginia and do nothing, so she took the first flight she could to get to them. She grabs a taxi at the airport and takes it a dozen or so blocks to the hospital. She checks in with the nurse at the front desk and heads up to the fourth floor, the burn unit. The whole team with the exception of the boys, JJ and Hotch are all sitting out in the hallway in the uncomfortable looking, brown, dingy chairs.

"Hey everybody, how are they?" She walks up to the team and drops her duffel at her feet, she hasn't sleep in two days and she looks awful.

"Hey kid, they're okay." Morgan says as he stands up and gives her a comforting hug, she gives into his strong embrace and when he releases she goes straight to Emily and sits down next to her. Emily wraps a protective arm around her and whispers into her ear

"Chin up kiddo." Sophia can't help but smile, she sits straight up again

"Can I see them?" She looks to Emily and she just shrugs, at that moment Hotch comes out from the adjacent hallway and she runs up to him "Dad!" she hugs him so tightly that she thinks her arms might fall off. She takes in his scent of aftershave and mint gum. He kisses the top of her head and returns her hug just as aggressively. He can only remember being _this_ thankful to see his daughter in one piece at one other point in their lives. She looks up at him with her large, blue eyes "Are you okay?" She is serious, a tone of voice she learned from Hotch

"I am fine." He gives her a quick smirk and then she realizes that she has yet to see her mom and she panics

"Where's mom? She isn't hurt or anything is she?" She rushes her words

"No, no she's fine. She's with your brothers. Why don't you go in and see them? They are right through those doors and to the left, okay? I'll be right here if you need me." She starts to slowly walk away and she is stopped by his words again "Sophie, I am so glad to see you." She smirks at him

"I'm glad to be here." She starts walking through the large double doors and she takes a sharp left into the first door and she pauses with her hand hovering over the handle. She prepares herself mentally, not knowing what shape they are both in and what they may look like. She takes a few deep breaths and then she pushes the door open, quietly.

Jack is in the bed closest to the door, and the one she sees first. His face is pretty much unaffected, his arms are burned pretty badly and there are wraps covering most of his arms and legs. He is asleep and laying peacefully. Henry's face is covered in burns and blisters. He is nearly unrecognizable and his eyes are as open as he can get them. Sophia walks further into the room and JJ takes notice to her presence.

"Hey baby" she smiles at her and gets up and gives her a big hug. Sophia does not take her eyes off of her brother. She is fighting viciously to keep the tears back. She can barely blink or it might push them out and down her cheeks. Her mother lets her go and she looks at her mom, she has a big bruise on her cheek and she has a few cuts on her arms and forehead. She doesn't ask questions for now, because she fears her voice will give her away. She needed to be strong now like they were strong for her after her attack. She stays firmly where she is standing as JJ goes back to her chair

"You wanna say hi SJ?" She looks at her daughter; SJ nods up and down shyly and walks hesitantly over to her brother. She gently grasps his hand and whispers

"Hi Henson." She half-heartedly greets him with her old childhood nickname for him. She tries to force out a smile for him but it is to no avail, she opens her mouth to try and talk more but nothing will come out and she can feel the tears start to come forward, she looks at her mom "I'll be right back." She rushes out to the waiting area where the rest of the team is still sitting and she looks for her dad. He is nowhere in sight, she stands in the middle of the three other team members and starts to cry. Emily is instantly at her side as Reid awkwardly stands off to the side trying to stay away from human emotions and Morgan goes off to find Hotch. Sophia is embarrassed that she can't keep it together, but she chalks it up the forty-eight hours without sleep. Emily grabs her bag and decides she is going to take her back to the hotel and they will be back in the morning.

As we grew up, my brothers acted like they didn't care, but I always knew they looked out for me and were there!  
Catherine Pulsifer, _Voiced by Sophia_


	19. The echoes are torture

Hilton Hotel

Chicago, IL

"There can be no situation in life in which the conversation of my dear sister will not administer some comfort to me."

~ Mary Montagu_ Voiced by Henry_

"Alright sweetie, why don't you get cleaned up and then get to bed. It's been a long couple of days." Sophia nods her head and sets her bag down on the bed and sits down on the bed next to it. She stares at the dingy maroon carpet and doesn't move for a few minutes. Emily notices that she is disturbed by something; she sits down on the other side of her. "What's wrong?"

"I heard it. I heard the explosion, their screams. There was nothing I could do for them and I-" Emily grabs her hand and cuts her off

"There was nothing anybody could do. It was nobody's fault except the one man who is dead now. He can't hurt anybody else anymore."

"It just seems a little messed up is all." Sophia grabs a hold of her necklace, the one her mom gave her after her accident, the one that _her_ sister had given her when she was a little girl, the one she only took off for soccer.

"What does?"

"The fact that no matter how hard the heroes fight, they always end up hurt, when all they wanted to do was save everyone else. All they wanted to do was help. The sense of justice in this world is seriously out of whack." Sophia grabs her bag and takes it into the bathroom and Emily hears the shower start up. She is constantly surprised by the wisdom of the teenaged girl that she helped to raise. She forgets sometimes that she is only sixteen years old. She also forgets that she went through something that no one should ever go through and she has lived a life that has forced her to grow up faster than mostly anyone else her age.

Sophia turns the water on as hot as she can handle and stands in the shower for a few minutes, taking heavy breaths. When she closes her eyes, she sees her brothers. Their burnt skin and their bruised bodies, she hears their screams of pain and terror, as she did through the weakening phone connection a few days ago. She gets out of the shower after a few minutes and gets into one of Henry's old sweatshirts and some comfortable sweatpants. She walks out and Emily is sitting on her computer typing maniacally.

"Hey kiddo, how are you feeling?" Emily looks up and shuts her computer

"I'm okay." SJ gives her a rather convincing smile "Just tired, it was a bit of a rough flight." She starts to un-tuck the comforter on the bed keeping one eye on the news. There is yet another segment on the explosion

"They'll be running those over and over for weeks, we don't have to watch that." Emily goes to turn it off but SJ stops her

"No I kind of want to, if it's okay?" Emily nods her head and goes into the kitchenette area, secretly trying not to relive that day again. Sophia sits in front of the large screen as footage from a security camera shows the explosion and she can see two bodies thrown outward from the blast. She instinctively puts her hand over her mouth as she fidgets once again with her necklace. She sits glued, physically unable to move watching the tape play over again twice more. Emily walks over and turns it off

"Okay, that's enough, do not beat yourself up over this. Try to get some sleep okay? We'll go back to see your brothers tomorrow morning before your flight back okay?" Emily kisses the top of SJ's head and turns the light off before she can object to her orders. The whole night she tosses and turns and runs the footage over again and again and again in her head, she no longer needs a television screen to see what had happened to them, it would be burned in her brain forever. She doesn't get much sleep again.

The next morning, Emily and Sophia stop and get decent coffee for everyone from a small café down the street from the hospital and then go straight up to the burn unit. Sophia wants to see her brothers and yet she can't help but drag her feet a bit when they reach their ward. She is scared that they are in pain, that they look worse somehow than she remembered and she is scared that she would cry in front of them.

She waits out in the hallway as the team goes into their room to hang out with the boys for a while, during their allotted visiting hours. Morgan notices that Sophia isn't going in and stays behind.

"Hey kid." He hands her a cup of coffee and sits down on the incredibly uncomfortable chair next to his goddaughter.

"They'll be okay." She says with mock confidence mostly to herself. "They'll be okay."

"You bet they'll be okay." Morgan says as he places his large, strong hand on her back. "You know your brothers better than anyone else, you know they never give up. Their strong, it must run in the family."

"Yeah, mom and dad are pretty strong."

"Yeah, they are, but they aren't who I was talking about." Morgan smiles at her and ruffles her hair a bit. She smiles back and stands up, and heads straight for the door to her brothers' room.

"Hey everyone, could I have a minute?" She looks at her parents and they nod silently and follow everyone else out of the room.

Sophia pulls a chair in between the two beds and takes a seat. She gently grabs each of their hands and she looks at both of them. Henry is awake but unable to speak and Jack is just waking up

"Hey Soph" she smiles at the sound of his voice, he sounds almost happy. She stands up and kisses his forehead

"Hey Jacky" She goes over to her other brother, wishing he would look at her with his sparkling blue eyes that matched hers so well and say 'hey squirt!' like he always did but she knew that wouldn't be happening for a little while so she just kisses the top of his head, one of the only parts of his upper body that is not burnt. "Hey Henry" She smiles at him and sits back down "Let's see what's in the news today, shall we boys?" She grabs the newspaper from the bedside table and starts to read "The Redskins' Quarterback stated yesterday…"

"We are family because there's a little bit of each of us in all of us."

~Gregory E. Lang, _Voiced by Jack_


	20. Worry is the worst form of torture

"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

Mahatma Gandhi, Spoken by Sophia

Sophia always hated flying alone, she always felt vulnerable, like people knew she was alone and they might target her because of it. In fact, lately she hates doing most things alone, she never used to. She would spend hours in her room alone, reading, listening to music, doing whatever, but now she is rarely alone, it gives her too much time to think. Luckily the flight from Chicago to Quantico is only about two hours, so she took a nap and then soon enough she was at the airport. Garcia made the trip to pick her up and brought her back with her to the BAU. She is helping the team with some follow up work while they are still in Chicago.

The next day the team returns, minus the boys and JJ, who is staying behind with them during their recovery, until they are well enough to fly. This is the first time, ever, that SJ and Hotch will have to manage for themselves at home. SJ and Garcia greet the team at the elevators.

"Hey kid!" Morgan goes directly to Sophia and wraps her in a hug and then gives his usual hug to Garcia as they exchange some weird banter

"Hey Dad!" Sophia goes over and hugs her dad, he looks utterly exhausted, he hugs her back, kisses her head and then hands her the keys, he must be exhausted if he is letting her drive without her even having to ask. They say their goodbyes to the team and then head for home

"So how are they?" She asks hesitantly

"The same; Henry is going to have to have another surgery; a skin graft, and Jack should be okay to fly within the next week or so." He says nonchalantly hoping not to freak her out too much. She doesn't say anything she simply nods and focuses on her driving. The car ride seems three times as long as it usually is, but they finally make it to their driveway. She puts the SUV in park and jumps out quickly. She walks up to the front door trying to find the house key, just to discover that she doesn't need it. The door is opened a crack, she stops where she is

"Dad…?" Hotch puts a hand on her shoulder

"Go wait by the car, dial 911 and if you hear anything out of the ordinary, hit send." She nods without argument and does as he says. He is still wearing his gun and he puts his hand on it, as he enters the house. Sophia waits by the big black car with one hand on her cell phone, the other holding the keys. She taps her foot impatiently, and nervously, just waiting. After five minutes or so, there is still no movement. Against her better judgment, and her father's orders, she walks slowly through the front door. The lights are still all off and there is a silence unlike anything she has ever experienced. She can hear footsteps on the wooden floor in the upstairs hallway, footsteps that she prays are her father's. She walks gently up the stairs, avoiding the one creaky step four up from the bottom. She walks even slower as she begins to reach the top of the stairs, she looks into the first room, her own bedroom, there is no one in there, she continues to the next room, the one that used to belong to Henry. She turns her back from the rest of the hallway to glance into the bedroom. Before she can turn back, there is a hand covering her mouth and an arm around her torso. She doesn't even think to scream. The arms turn her around, she meets the gaze of her father. He places his index finger over his mouth, and signals to her closet. She gets into it, and sits in the back corner of it. She waits once again with her finger hovering over the send button on her cell phone, just waiting.

There is little, to no, noise for several more minutes. Then there is a loud bang, a gunshot. She hits send on her phone and it rings once before the dispatcher answers

"911 What's your emergency?"

"There is someone in my house, with a gun, some- someone's b-been shot." She whispers in a hurried tone

"Okay, sweetie, what's your name?"

"Sophia Jareau, at 23 Horace Ave. Please hurry, I don't know who was shot. Please."

A few minutes later there were sirens outside; she could hear the door open downstairs and voices throughout the house within minutes. There are footsteps in her room, the door whips open and she sees her father's shadowy figure standing above her. She jumps up and hugs him, just as she did, that day in Keith Dunn's basement.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. An armed robber, I caught him, he was trying to take some of your mother's jewelry." He pulls her into an even tighter hug and runs his hand over her hair

"Okay, as long as you're okay." He nods and hugs her one last time "You know if things like this keep happening to us, they're going to have to make a whole new branch in the FBI just to protect this family." Sophia giggles slightly and looks at him; even he manages a slight smile as they start downstairs to talk to the police.

The next morning SJ wakes up to the sound of the house phone's shrill ringing. She doesn't move just assuming that her father would answer, but it just keeps ringing. She walks down the stairs quickly and grabs the phone off of its charging dock.

"Hello?" She says groggily as she steadies her tired body on the counter

"Hey baby, I'm sorry did I wake you up?"

"Yeah, but it's fine." Sophia smiles at the sound of her mother's voice

"Are you okay after last night?" Her voice is a bit tense and worrisome

"Yeah I guess I'm okay, just a little shaken but everything is fine." Quickly trying to change the subject "How are you and the boys?"

"We're okay." There is a slight pause of hesitation in her voice "Is your father there? Can I talk to him?" Sophia notices the apparent change in her tone

"I don't think he is… I don't know where he is. Try his cell."

"Alright, I'll do that. Love you munchkin, I'll talk to you soon."

"Love you too mom." They hang up and Sophia starts a pot of coffee and decides that she should shower and start her day since she is awake anyway. She figures she will go into town and sketch or take pictures since she doesn't have soccer practice today.

After she is ready and dressed, she grabs her sketchbook, camera, coat and gloves and sets out in the cold November air towards the center of town. She has lived in the same place her entire life, and everything has been exactly the same since as long as she can remember. The statue in the square, the bars and restaurants that line the streets, her favorite coffee shop and bookstore, But ever since her attack she hasn't been able to look at the town the same way.

As she is passing that bar on the corner, she gets an overwhelming feeling of paranoia and she feels her breath hitch in her lungs. She has an instant flashback to the night she was kidnapped. Her chest gets tight as she sees her attacker's face and she is all of a sudden back in the same spot, in her soccer uniform, on the cool November night. She can no longer see the people enjoying their morning coffee, or the young boy walking his dog with his mother. It is just her and Dunn in the normally busy street late at night. She can hear his footsteps behind her and she begins to walk a bit faster. The smell of smoke from his cigarette is overwhelming and it encompasses her and she knows he has gotten closer. So close now that she can feel his warm breath contrast with her goose bump covered skin, and before she can start to run, his strong arms have wrapped around her tiny frame and she is constricted.

She falls to the ground outside the café in mid daylight, just at the exact moment Emily and Morgan are walking by on their way in to the office.

"Sophia?" Morgan runs over and picks her up. Her breathing is forced and staggered. She is trying to gasp for any kind of air her lungs can conceive but her efforts are clearly lacking. Morgan tries to shake her out of it "Sophia?" Her eyes are glazed over and he knows she is miles away. He takes her and puts her in his car and begins to drive to Emily's condo, because she lives the closest. Emily is trying to get in touch with Hotch but there is no answer every time.

Emily is sitting in the back seat of the car with Sophia, rubbing her back as she begins to come to. She is no stranger to panic attacks, but needless to say this is the worst one she has ever had, and she has never revealed the fact that she has had them to anyone, especially not to the team.

"Hey kiddo." Emily says in a soothing voice as she hugs her tightly

"Hey, what happened? When did I get here?" Morgan looks worriedly at her through the rearview mirror

"You don't remember anything that happened?"

"No, the last thing I remember is that I was going to go out and work on a photography assignment. What happened?" she is starting to sound panicked and worried at the fact that the past half an hour or so of her day is just no longer in her memory.

"Sweetie, you had a panic attack. You're sure you don't remember?"

"No I didn't, what? No, you guys are lying to me." She doesn't want to believe that this is true, because if this is true, and now they know, that means. She will have to get help. The very help she has been trying desperately for the past month and a half to avoid. Even worse, she'll have to tell her mother about everything, and that will disappoint her more than anything else.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength."

Corrie ten Boom, Spoken by Emily


	21. Make the Right Decision

"Tomorrow will be better."  
"But what if it's not?" I asked.  
"Then you say it again tomorrow. Because it might be. You never know, right? At some point, tomorrow will be better."

-Morgan Matson, spoken by Emily

Morgan helps Sophia into the living room and sits her down on the couch.

"Guys, I'm fine." She starts to lift herself off of the couch but Emily pushes her back down. She goes into the kitchen and grabs a glass of water. She sits down on the couch next to her handing her the cup noticing that her hands are sweaty and shaking.

"You most certainly are not fine." She takes the cup back and places it down on the coffee table and grabs a hold of Sophia's hands "Sweetheart, it is perfectly okay to ask for help every once in a while. You know, you never really got any real help after the attack. Now, with your brothers being hurt and the robber in your house last night, there is a lot going on in your life, and I don't think you've had a chance to let any of it out. Holding everything bottled up inside all the time isn't good for anybody."

"Why not? You guys do it." Sophia doesn't make eye contact with either of her godparents as she sits in the middle of them on the couch

"Listen short stuff, you're right. We bottle things up and we hold it in, but when things get to be too much we find other ways to let out steam. You, you lock yourself up in your room and sit and think. Don't get me wrong, that genius brain of yours is nothing short of a blessing, but only if you use it for productive things, not replaying the bad things in life over and over." Morgan always had a way of knowing exactly what she was up to, even if he hadn't seen her in a while. He really took the profiler thing to a whole other level with her. Sophia doesn't say anything she just lets out a really deep breath. She sits back deeper into the squishy couch and drinks some more of her water. Morgan's phone starts to ring and he takes it into the other room.

"Hotch? Did you get my calls?"

"No, where are you guys?"

"Well, we're at Emily's place" he pauses for a second "…with Sophia."

"What do you mean? Is everything alright?" Hotch's voice gets more tense and Morgan can practically hear him scowl

"Yeah, everyone is fine, there was just a bit of an incident. You might want to get over here, quickly." He hangs up the phone, hoping he wouldn't worry too much on his way over to the condo

"Hey kid, your dad is on his way over here, he's gonna take you home, okay?" Sophia doesn't answer yet again and Emily and Morgan, silently, fear that she will return to her quiet and withdrawn ways after this panic attack.

Morgan goes to greet Hotch at the door leaving Emily and Sophia in the living room alone.

"Emily?"

"Yeah sweetie?"

"Would you mind coming over for dinner tonight?"

Trying to lighten the mood a bit "What, your dad isn't cooking you gourmet meals while your mom is away?" Sophia smiles a bit but it disappears quickly

"I just, I miss my mom." Sophia had never complained of missing her parents, as long as Emily has known her, which is her entire life.

"Yeah, of course I'll come over." She kisses her forehead "We'll talk more tonight, alright?" Sophia nods and gives her a huge hug.

The car ride is a bit tense, mostly because Hotch has no idea what to say to her.

"So, you're sure you're okay? I still think you should be checked out by a doctor." Sophia shakes her head silently "You should call your mother and let her know what happened." He says stiffly, clearly very uncomfortable

"Me? Can you talk to her? Or maybe we don't have to tell her, that would just add more stress to her, and that is the last thing she needs right now and I think that maybe-"

"Soph, you know you need to tell her. This is not something to just shrug off, this is a big deal." Sophia nods once again and dials her mother's cell phone number as they pull into the driveway. Hotch heads inside leaving Sophia on the front porch with her privacy

"Hello?" JJ's voice comes over the receiver and Sophia opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out "…SJ? Are you there?" Sophia just breaks down into tears and JJ knows that today has been a very bad day "Sophie, baby, what's wrong? Shh, it's okay. What happened?" JJ tries to soothe her daughter but her efforts are lacking over the phone, she wants nothing more right now than to be there hugging her daughter, letting her know that everything indeed will be okay, eventually.

"I" She sniffles and tries to stop the hot tears from falling but they keep falling silently "I, um, had a panic attack today. I was walking downtown and I just blacked out."

"What? Are you okay?" JJ sounds panicked and SJ tries her best to sound nonchalant for the rest of the conversation while she tells her what happened.

Later that night Emily shows up while Sophia is cooking dinner, knowing Hotch hates to cook.

"Knock, knock." Emily says as she steps through the unlocked front door that leads into the kitchen

"Hey Emily!" Sophia greets her clearly feeling much better; at least she is smiling now.

"Hey Sophie, where's your dad?" Emily looks around at the empty house, not realizing just how quiet it could get, almost any time she has spent in the Hotchner-Jareau household there had been a group of people, but with JJ and the boys being away, the near silence is deafening.

"Oh he had to go back to the office after he brought me home." Sophia looks like a grown up, she has an apron on to protect her clothes from the flour that she had gotten all over the counter and her arms, her wavy dirty-blonde hair falls just past her shoulders. Emily notices the almost completely healed scars that encircle her right arm that reach almost to her wrist. Sophia, without any of the team members ever really realizing it had grown up, she had experienced things that no one ever should but she has done it with such grace that any person would admire but also allowed her to fly under the radar. Emily nods her head and sits at the island in the middle of the large kitchen.

"So what are we having then?" Emily leans over to look in the pans but Sophia covers them with their corresponding lids

"It's a surprise." She smiles and takes the seat across from Emily closest to the oven so she could keep an eye on the timer. "Listen, um, I'm sorry about today. If I had known what was going to happen, I wouldn't have left the house." Her crystal blue eyes drop to meet the floor as she plays with a dish towel that was sitting on the counter.

"Hey, look at me Sophia" She makes eye contact with her Godmother "You never have to apologize for having a hard day, you understand me?" Her voice isn't angry or demanding, but instead it is a mixture of firm and consoling "We all have them. And personally I think that it's a good thing that you were there at that time, what if you had blacked out here, while you were home alone? You would still be lying on the floor in your room, or God forbid you had been in the shower when it happened. You could have really hurt yourself" Emily's voice gains a tenseness as she begins to speak faster working herself up thinking of all the possibilities of what could have happened.

"I don't think that would have happened." Sophia says as she goes back to one of the pots and starts stirring its contents. "It wasn't just a random anxiety attack, it was triggered." Emily's eyes widen

"By what?"

"You know where you found me? That's the spot that Dunn grabbed me, injected me with drugs and forced me into his car." A single tear rolls down her cheek and she tries her best to hide it from Emily

"Sophia…"

"It's okay, if I don't face it, how will I ever go into town again?"

"There are other ways to face these things." Sophia turns around on her heels to face Emily

"Well what am I supposed to do until then? Stay locked up in my house? I can't go anywhere without going into town. I refuse to remain a victim, I will not waste the rest of my life feeling jaded and cheated, I just won't do it." Her cheeks blush a deep red and she stops herself before she reveals more information about her inner thoughts or before she begins to cry.

"Okay, you won't be then, you are the only person that can control how you deal with this. As long as you make the right decisions about what you are going to do next, you won't be a victim." Emily makes eye contact once again with Sophia hoping that this time she got through to her.

"Painful as it may be, a significant emotional event can be the catalyst for choosing a direction that serves us - and those around us - more effectively. Look for the learning."  
-Louisa May Alcott , Spoken by Sophia


End file.
